Breaking Point
by superimperfection
Summary: Based on the spoilers for J L little idea which floated around in my head until I had to write it down, its 3 parts because 1 just isn't enough .. Enjoy guys
1. Chapter 1

After reading popscb one shot (which is brill a MUST READ) , it prompted me to post mine based on the break up spoilers for Joey and Lauren, its been going round and round in my head so when I wrote it out it felt better so now i'm going to post it! Enjoy

Breaking Point

_Lauren it's over, I can't watch you do this again and again_

_We're done_

His words circling around and around in her head as she sat in complete darkness. Her head resting heavily on her cold pillow. She hadn't surfaced from her room for days, an occasional bite of food and touch of water when he mouth became dry from the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

He didn't want her, each time she thought about him her heart physically ached, clutching her chest she felt the tears she had been crying surfacing once more. Hitting her heart harshly she tried to push away the pains she was feeling.

He had promised her happiness, in the face of all her family problems and personal challenges he promised to make her happy, yet here she was broken hearted, the one she loved across the road leading his life while she suffered in agony, pure and utter agony.

Little did Lauren know, Joey was in just as much pain. He refused to go out unless it was to work and when he did work he barely talked; he didn't look at any other girl, because the other girls weren't his girl. Joey wasn't one for crying, the last time he did was for his late father, but these tears were different, these were tears of disappointment and heart break. He never wanted to end it with Lauren, if he was honest he was in it for the long haul, after all they had been through to get to where they were, accepted by most their family and friends, the last thing he wanted to do was break up with her, but her drinking became the problem, her constant need for numbness to shy away from her problems and Joey struggled immensely with this, there was only so much he could do before she had to help herself.

Offering her an ultimatum either him or the drink had pushed Lauren to face up the world, deciding Joey was worth it, he was her lifeline, her saving grace whilst the rest of her life was in turmoil. Letting go of the alcohol was a huge step for Lauren, one she thought she could never do, but with Joey by her side he made it easier offering the comfort she used to get from a bottle. But one night changed everything, she had been drinking soft drinks, her promise to Joey so strong in her head, but somehow she had ended up drunk, her body eating up the feeling as alcohol rushed through her veins doing what it did best to Lauren, making her a fool.

No one knew the extent of Lucy Beales jealously, sure her best friend had made off with her Ex boyfriend or fling whatever they were, but time had passed since then for the dust to settle. No one could comprehend the hatred for Lauren that Lucy now harboured, nor the determination to get Joey back, her possessive side being the forefront to her next action. That night she sat quietly, pretending to be friendly with Lauren whilst filling her soft drink with Vodka, the poison that brought out the worst side to Lauren.

To say Joey was fuming was the biggest understatement of the century. He felt fooled that Lauren had broken her promise to him, gone back on her word, but what hurt the most was that she said he meant more to her than anything, now he saw this would never be true. Deciding there and then on the spot he couldn't be with her whilst she drank herself to oblivion, being without her would be less painful than being with her whilst she drank herself into an early grave.

Now weeks on both hadn't comprehended the struggle they would face being apart and how dependant on one and other they had become. How when Joey rolled over in his bed, his hand reached out naturally to feel for her slim body when she had become a permanent residence in his bed was now just a cold empty space.

Lauren fought the urge on many occasions to ring him and text him resulting in her phone being smashed against her bedroom wall. What hurt the most was that Joey wouldn't believe her when she said she hadn't drank that night, she had only ordered soft drinks the whole night, he wouldn't even listen when she had given some alternatives such had she might have been spiked or drank the wrong drink, but no he refused to hear it and that was the end.

Fed up with life in general, Lauren took heavy to the bottle, now a daily motion to buy a bottle of Vodka and work her way through it until it was empty. Peeking through the living room window she spotted her dad and wife Kristy walking hand in hand, it churned her stomach that they were having a child together, it had now sunk it that her family was torn apart, he had expected her parents to get back together but could have never guessed Kristy would fall pregnant it was like nailing the coffin down. Letting the curtain fall back down, she pulled on her winter coat, heading out for some required peace time, needing to get away from her mother who had fussed over her since Joey had broken her heart for the second time, then proceeded to shout at Lauren each time she returned home drunk. Heading out the door, she stumbled down the steps, holding on the railings to steady herself, deciding to go see her older brother was exactly what she needed. Although Bradley wasn't there anymore, she knew she could pour her heart out at his grave, cry a little or hysterically and would feel slight relief from it.

Joey had watched Lauren intensely as she exited the house. Her pale face was clear as day, he could even see the dark circles under her eyes. She looked as if she had lost weight, her coat looking much larger on her than it ever did. His eyes softened as he watched her stumble a little, before pulling herself together, wiping under her eyes, she had clearly been crying. He sighed as she turned the corner out of view, his heart beating loudly from his chest; he had broken her well and truly. She looked much worse this time than when he first broke her heart.

The cold wind hit her face harshly as she collapsed down at Bradley's grave. Her fingers lightly brushing over his name on the headstone. How was it fair everyone she loved got ripped away from her? No one experiencing bad luck like Lauren Branning. Feeling her bottom lip wobble a little she let the painful cry rip throughout her chest, sobbing loudly as she laid down next to his grave, her body wrapped tightly in her coat as the tears fell fast and furiously. She wasn't sure whether she was crying for the brother she had lost, his warm heart always creating some sort of security while he was alive, or whether the tears were for Joey, the love of her life who just seemed to rip her heart out. Using her cold hand she wiped her eyes dry, sitting herself up next to the headstone just relishing in the peace she felt sitting there.

Looking up after hearing footsteps approaching she spotted Joey, the one person she least expected to see. He looked terrible, his eyes swollen and puffy, his cheeks stubble as if he hadn't shaved in days, his hair was messy. Feeling the tears surface once more she looked away from him, refusing herself to cry in front of him, she was stronger than that.

"Lauren" he whispered, standing closer to her, as she remained crouched next to her brother's grave.

"What can you possibly want?" she hissed back, surprised at her for even managing to talk to him.

"I saw you leave earlier, I just wanted to see if you were okay?" his voice soft as he watched her continually brushing her fingers over Bradleys name.

Lauren released a short breathless laugh. Although it wasn't a joyful laugh more sarcastic as if did he really just ask her that question. Was she okay? Really was she okay? Was that all he could ask her.

Standing up from her position, she pulled down her coat, hugging it tightly to her body. Looking at him for a second, she turned away, any longer she would of cried more, just looking at him set her heart racing.

"Am I okay?" she hissed, her face turning a little red. How could he ask such a question of course she wasn't okay, far from it in fact, okay wasn't even on the scale anymore.

Joey shrugged engaging her reaction although nothing would prepare him for what was to come next.

"You know what Joey, I'm not okay do you want to know why do you, where shall I start" she turned furiously to face him, the tears at her eyes beginning to stream down her face. Months and years of pent up anger and hurt and pain she had occurred finally reaching boiling point.

"How about, my dad is having a child with Kristy, so there is no chance of my parents actually getting back together, and how about the fact my family is torn to pieces, my mother is still missing her appointments at the hospital so if she had cancer again she wouldn't know and how about my older brother is dead and I walk past where he died every single day of my life living with the pain that he died right there, oh and what about you, well you once again broke my heart, first time fool you second time fool me, because I knew it was coming didn't I because my life is full of heart break and failures and your just another one to that long list of things that is wrong with my life Joey so how about you don't ask me that question again because my answer won't get any better". By now Lauren had begun screaming, the tears falling fiercely down her pale face, Joey hadn't expected the reaction he got. His heart breaking each time she said another thing and another thing but mostly when she mentioned him, how he broke her heart before and had done it all over again.

He watched as she turned away from him, stumbling a little as she tried to escape from him, her head spinning a little as the weight of releasing her pent up feelings had been lifted, clutching her forehead she felt the world spin fast, her stomach clenching inwardly with pain as the world went dark.

"LAUREN" was the final thing she heard, she couldn't even feel Joey pull her into his arms, she had gone numb, her eyes rolling back into her head, breaking point had finally reached.

"Joey where is she?" Tanya shouted followed by Max who were rushing towards a very pale Joey who was stood outside the room where Lauren was being treated. He couldn't talk his mouth had gone dry, instead he pointed straight ahead through the window. Tanya gasping in horror as she watched a team of nurses and a doctor attending to her frail daughter. Her body seemed lifeless, she had clearly passed out no doubt due to the alcohol she had consumed.

"What happened?" Tanya hesitated asking the questioned fearing what the answer would be.

"She was at Bradleys grave, she had a meltdown I've never seen her like it then she collapsed" he croaked, the soreness in his throat catching as he held back to tears. Desperately trying not to remember Laurens meltdown before his eyes knowing he had been a main factor of it.

"What do you mean meltdown?" Max asked, looking through the window to his daughter. "She was crying hysterically, shouting about you and Kristy and the baby, then about your cancer Tan and stuff about Bradley and then me" he sighed rubbing his head which had begun pounding furiously with a headache. "She reached breaking point everything she had been feeling came out, it our fault she's here" he stated, hating himself every single minute.

"This day was coming" Tanya whispered, wiping her tears away. She knew he daughter had struggled with everything she had been faced with in life; it was only a matter of time before it came out the alcohol providing a huge factor within it. It wasn't just a teenage drinking thing, it had become a dependency, a way to release her feelings a way to feel nothing when times got hard.

The doctor emerged from the room, as Tanya and Max stood up to talk to him. Joey now standing looking through the window at the girl he loved. Connected to drips and monitors, she was awake which was something, although she was just staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

"Lauren collapsed due to the amount of alcohol in her system; she has also told us she has been drinking nonstop for days, its worrying the amount of alcohol she has told us she has drunk so we are running tests on her liver to see the extent of the damage" he doctor smiled politely before on leaving Max and Tanya with the news.

Walking in quietly, Tanya clutched one of her daughters hand, Max standing at the end of the bed watching his daughter closely. She refused to look at them, instead continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Were so sorry honey" Tanya whispered, her daughters silence scaring her.

"That's the problem, your always sorry but nothing changes" Lauren replied taking them off guard. "Nothing ever changes with this family, I can't take it any longer" she whispered peeling her eyes away from the ceiling to look at her dad.

"Things will change Lauren, I promise you" he smiled weakly, his daughter not taking any notice of his promises, he was always breaking promises.

"Can I have some time alone please" she whispered, snatching her hand away from Tanya's, seeing them smile at her before leaving, closing the door behind them.

The doctor soon returned, wanting to speak to Lauren privately.

"Lauren the alcohol in your system could of killed you, you had a lucky escape, now from what your parents have told me you have been drinking excessively for weeks maybe even months, at the hospital we provide free counselling for patients so you have someone to talk to, now I'm offering that to you, it's not weak to ask for help or seek help" he sighed "Have a think about it and if you do I can send someone up to you, but for now we are keeping you in until we get the results back" he smiled, leaving Lauren with food for thought.

Tanya had rung Whitney to let her know what had happened, soon enough Whitney and Lucy had turned up at the hospital, the worry for their best friend kicking in. Lucy had paled considerably seeing Lauren asleep in the hospital bed, wires connected to her, the colour of her skin it was fair to say Lucy was racked with guilt. She had pushed Lauren to far, spiking her drink was on other level, it had led her to the downward spiral she had got onto.

"Joey" Lucy's voice was barely audible, she felt guilty, she had to tell him the truth, he was the only one who could save Lauren.

"What is it Lucy?" his voice snappy, he was clearly devastated over Lauren it was plain to see.

"It was me" she whispered, watching his face frown at little. "What was you?" he asked a little curious now.

"I put vodka into Laurens drink that night" she whispered, feeling Joey tense up beside her.

"What?" his voice now stern, the anger washing through him. The girl lying in the hospital bed, the one whose heart he broke had been telling the truth. She had gone behind his back and bought alcohol, instead her jealous friend had spiked her drink prompting Joey to finish things.

"I'm sorry I was jealous" Lucy pleaded, watching Joey get up his hands resting on his hips as he paced the corridor taking in everything she just said.

"Get out" he stated, looking at her made him feel sick "Get out and don't come back" he hissed, watching Lucy nod her expression ashamed and leaving.

Looking back into the room, his heart tore apart, she was in there because of him, because he didn't take her word when she pleaded that she hadn't drank, he ripped her heart to shreds only to find out he was the one in the wrong and now somehow he had to make it up to her.

Part 2 & 3 to come...


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the reviews!

_Breaking Point – Part 2_

Joey had been wanting to go into her hospital room since she first arrived, but to be honest he didn't know what to say to her. She was hurting, he had caused most of that pain because he failed to believe her even when she begged and cried. He watched her sleeping, finally peaceful for the first time in weeks. She had released everything she had been feeling for the past few years everything little thing she was harbouring.

Tanya has urged him on many occasions to go in and speak to her, but after her meltdown he wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him again whether she would spiral further into hysteria or maybe she wouldn't speak to him at all. He knew the ball was in her court now, whether she would accept his apology or throw him out there and then, the second one most likely, he didn't deserve her forgiveness and he certainly didn't deserve to be with her. His hand hesitated over the door whether to enter or not knowing she was awake.

"Speak to her Joey" Tanya smiled, patting his back, pushing him a little further to the door, knowing how much her daughter loved Joey it was highly unlike she would turn him away and even if she did that would be down to her Branning stubbornness not that she didn't want him there.

Taking a deep breath he pushed the door open, seeing her roll over to see who had come in. She looked quickly their eyes locking together before she rolled back over facing away from him. He couldn't help but look at the bare skin on her back showing through the hospital gown. He couldn't practically see her spine, her pale skin slightly scared him, and he could have never anticipated the effect of their break up would have on her. Moving slowly around the room he sat down in the chair on the side she was facing, her eyes were now closed as she refused to look at him sensing he had sat down.

They sat in silence for what seemed hours, he just watched her intently, occasionally she fluttered her eyes open only see him still sitting there before shutting them tightly again. He smirked a little, she was in full drama queen mode for sure and he wasn't escaping it any time soon. Leaning forward he rested his head on his arms that lay across the bars of the bed, already feeling better that she was that close to him once more. Her beautiful scent filling his nostrils the smell he had been craving for weeks.

"I'm not moving till we talk" he whispered, seeing a little smile creep onto her lips before regaining her expression. Joey was persistent when he wanted to be.

"I don't want to talk to you" she hissed a little, peaking her eye opening to see him so close to her, within touching distance, the closest they had been for a while it was rather overwhelming.

"There's things I need to explain" he whispered, hoping she wouldn't start getting upset again. He hated seeing her this way. Her usual sarcastic, bright bubbly spirit was what made him fall in love with her, this version of her was broken, he hated that he was a part of her downfall.

"You have 2 minutes before I'll want to swing for you" she snapped, shifting her position so she was lying flat on her back, her eyes drifting to the white ceiling.

"Such a bloody drama queen" he muttered, resting back into the chair. He watched closely as she fidgeted a little, his presence making her nervous something it had always done, they were good nerves she could feel the butterflies in her stomach turning, he was something he had over her that she couldn't control much to her dislike, because she felt like a flipping 15 year old school girl.

"I know you didn't drink that night" he sighed, rubbing his head, seeing her face scrunch as she became confused. "Then why did you end it" she whispered trying hard to understand what he was saying.

"Because I thought you did, but Lucy came here, she said she spiked your drink because she was jealous of us" the disgust in his voice apparent, how someone could stoop so low and especially to her friend. Lucy knew the struggles Lauren had with alcohol and she played on that advantage. Joey was never hers; he was ashamed to say he used her because he did. His attention always drifted to his beautiful cousin, the off limits fiery brunette who caught his eye that first day. Lucy was only a distraction from what he really wanted until it became too extreme to deny.

"Bitch" Lauren hissed, breaking his thoughts, he chuckled knowing she would love to slap Lucy right about now but was unfortunately stuck in a hospital bed, she sighed rolling onto her side to face him. "That's the problem Joey, you thought I did" her voice becoming a whisper, it hurt her more than he could ever know when he didn't take her word for it.

"It was wrong of me, I was just angry it clouded my judgement Lo" he replied, almost pleading with her, he knew this was going to be difficult. Most people never believed Lauren, Joey being the only one but he had now become one of them. "I couldn't watch you destroy yourself Lauren, you had to realise that alcohol isn't the way" he hesitantly reached out for her hand, Lauren snatching it away she couldn't have his skin touching hers yet, it was too early.

"Then what is the way? Because I'm done with it all" she whispered, small tears pricking her eyes as the reality of the situation sunk well and truly in. She had enough of it all, the heart ache the pain her family constantly suffered, the pain she constantly suffered, she didn't want to feel anything anymore.

"You don't mean that" his voice barely audible, he had stood back and watch her crumble to pieces, he knew she wouldn't take any more of it, but hearing the words leave her own mouth scared him slightly. She was a fighter who no longer wanted to fight because fighting never got her anywhere.

"I just want it to stop" she sobbed a little, the tears pouring from her eyes, creating wetness on her pillow her head rested on. Joey just wanted to pick her up in his strong arms, wash away the pain she was feeling, make everything better but she wouldn't let him touch her.

"Lauren, let me hold you" he pleaded, seeing her shaking her head through the tears. "Please".

She nodded lightly, Joey stood up, bending over the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist, her arms wrapping slowly around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder as more sobs ripped from her chest, ones that broke his heart into a million pieces. Just holding her already felt better, his hands rubbed her back soothingly, he could feel the weight she had lost, she was smaller than usual in his arms. "Everything is going to be okay" he whispered, her tears dying down gradually as she calmed down, another effect Joey had over her.

"How is it?" finding her voice again now the tears had stopped. Finally pulling away she sat up, looking at him in the eyes. Fear written through her eyes he could see it plain as day. Of course she was scared that nothing would change that she would find herself here again in 6 months' time after another affair or another death or heartbreak.

"Because I'm going to look after you always" he smiled weakly, he could see the doubt in her mind, he had given her reason to doubt him of course, it would take a lot of making up to convince her. "Lauren I love you and I'm sorry" he said sincerely, seeing her smile as he said the three little words she had been dying to hear for weeks, the words that could wash away the hurt she felt.

"I love you too" she whispered, scared to opening her heart up again to him, but he was here when she needed him the most, she could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going anytime soon and he would fight for her because she had no fight left in her.

Once again they sat in silence; their fingers entwined together, nothing more was needed, no grand gestures of love and devotion just being there proved enough to Lauren although forgiving him would take a little longer. "I think you should speak to someone babe" he murmured, the tiredness taking over him. Having not slept for almost 24 hours began to set in although he dreaded leaving her, it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I don't want to" she whispered, rolling to face him. "They will bring everything back up, I don't want to remember it all again" the past was what her who she is today why she lying here, the last thing she wanted to do was reminisce the death of her brother or go over and over the affairs her father had and her mother's cancer.

"It will make you feel better, give you some clarity some answers" he replied, careful to what he said knowing it was such a sensitive topic to talk about with her.

"Can I think about it?" she questioned, needing to time to process the thought of talking about her deepest darkest fears opening to a stranger about all her problems.

"You can have as long as you like babe" he smiled squeezing her hand gently. The room settled again as they enjoying basking in the glow of each other's company, what they had wanted for so long just to be together, it was only sad that it was understand these circumstances.

Part 3 tomorrow …


	3. Chapter 3

This is the final part I hope you enjoy it took me a while to write, I hope you all like it! :) Thank you for reading!

_Breaking Point_

Lauren had slept relatively well that night under the circumstances seen as she was in hospital. Joey had stayed the night with her, sleeping in the chair next to the bed refusing to leave her by herself. He had tried on many occasions to get closer to her, even give her a small kiss but Lauren wasn't ready for that yet, she hadn't forgiven him, unsure whether she would anytime soon. It wasn't that she didn't love him, because she did more than anyone could ever imagine and she had told him that but that fact he doubted her and broke her heart in the process she couldn't really get past that yet. Sure she was used to people especially family not believing in her it had been that way since she could remember and now it was a regular occurrence. But that night she knew she didn't drink of her own accord and had begged Joey to listen to her for once actually believe in her, but his anger and hurt had clouded his judgement and he followed his head and not his heart. Now the truth about what Lucy had done come to light he was suddenly back wanting her forgiveness wanting to be how they were before, but how could that happen now? Their relationship had been tainted with doubt, she would always fear that if and when she messed up again Joey would leave her once more, she was unsure whether she could face that possibility because this time nearly killed her, if it happened again she knew she wouldn't be here, FACT.

So was it really worth it, getting back with Joey and having the possibility of heartbreak again, or would she leave it as it was, just being cousins nothing more because there was a part of her that saw it be the simplest way to live. But they could never be just cousins; she knew that, Joey knew that there were too many feelings there between them. The word love didn't quite comprehend their feelings for one and other, they were soul mates no doubt but their relationship seemed like a bad omen, whenever they get to a certain point of happiness, it was usually followed by something awful. Maybe a simple uncomplicated relationship was what they both needed, to be with someone else who wasn't a cousin, who wasn't weighed down with troubles and issues someone who could give them everything they ever dreamt of, but that relationship would always be missing what they had together; passion, desire, an understanding but most importantly heart consuming love for one and other.

Rolling over early that morning she watched Joey sleeping next to her. His head resting in his hand as his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. His face wasn't tense like last night instead it was relaxed, just being within inches of each other had a calming affect. Joey knew he wasn't forgiven it would take a lot of begging and reassurance for Lauren to forgive him. He understood that he hurt her more than he would know. But he was willing to do whatever it took to get her forgiveness, because in his eyes there was no one else in this world he wanted, no one else would fill that gap in his heart the way she could, because it was left there for her, his heart belonged to Lauren now. He was going to have to fight for her.

Stirring minute later, his eyes fluttered open tiredly as he stretched a little the chair being so uncomfortable to sleep on. His eyes met Laurens who had been watching him since she woke up. He smiled weakly at her, Lauren returning the gesture.

"How you feeling?" his voice tainted with tiredness as he sat up in the chair.

"Like crap" she moaned rubbing her head with her fingers releasing the tension in her forehead.

"You will start feeling better today" he replied, smiling as she nodded in response agreeing with him. "Is it okay for me to stay the day?" he asked hesitantly, knowing she had the right to reject him at any point, it was what he deserved.

"Yeah, but I think you should go home and wash, kinda stink babe" she chuckled, wrinkling her nose up making him laugh with her. She was probably right he did smell, his hygiene being the least of his worries lately, Lauren consuming most of his thoughts.

"If I go now I'll be back by 12" he smiled, standing up and stretching. Clutching Laurens hand within his own, he squeezed it gently. However much he wanted to kiss her, he knew he couldn't she wasn't ready yet, at least this way it was a gesture she was comfortable with.

"See you later" she replied letting go of his hand as he left the room, Lauren suddenly feeling a little lonely in her room. How one person could change the atmosphere in a room was remarkable, he could light up anywhere in her eyes, that's what made her love him so much.

Lauren buzzed for the nurse, asking her if she could speak to the counsellor now she was ready. When Joey had suggested it she was a little apprehensive, talking about how she was feeling scared the life out of her, let alone bringing up her troubled past to someone unknown was just as frightening as it meant she had to face up to everything that had led her to this point.

"So how are you feeling Lauren?" her counsellor was a short blond women, her face was sweet and welcoming she had made Lauren feel comfortable in her presence instantly. She perched next to her on the chair Joey had been in, no notebook or anything she had imagined, just two people talking.

"Drained if I'm honest, I don't just mean physically either" she sighed, hugging the covers tighter around her body.

"Can you tell me what led you to your admission yesterday?" she quizzed politely, giving Lauren a free rein to talk. She watched as Lauren sighed her head obviously going over and over what had got her to this point. "In your own time Lauren" she smiled, giving her the needed thinking time.

"I guess it started when I was younger if I'm honest, my dad has been known for his affairs, me and my sister watched as he continually tore apart our family, my mum was always forgiving so it was like we had been pulled about so often it became normal. But it wasn't it was hard we were only young we didn't understand. Then he had an affair with my eldest brothers wife and we all found out and once more our family was ripped to shreds except it was different he crossed a huge line and my mum wasn't forgiving she left and I went with her. Then some time after my older brother Bradley he died, right near where we live, each day I pass where he died its like reliving it over and over" she sighed, brushing the tears that had begun away from her face.

"Take a deep breath Lauren" she smiled letting Lauren have a moment to compose herself.

"Yeah so I had lost my brother, my family was still pretty much torn, then my mum had got married to someone else, whilst my dad was with another women, little did we know they had been having an affair together, it was just so confusing" she laughed awkwardly, her parents sounded ridiculous.

"Then mum found out she had cancer and pushed dad away so he ended up leaving, mum only confided in me, I guess the weight of it wore me down and I kind of fell into alcohol and loved the numbness it gave me, I couldn't feel anything which is what I needed. Dad soon returned he took over from what I was doing, which was caring for her I guess I felt pushed out and not needed anymore so the alcohol was once again used to block those feelings out" reaching for a tissue she wiped her eyes as they became a little swollen with the amount of tears that fell from her eyes.

"Everything kind of settled a bit well sort of, there is always drama, but then the arrival of my cousin Joey sent everything into spiral" she sighed, remembering the first time she laid eyes on him. His cockiness made him even more attractive, that smile he shot her almost melted her heart there and then.

Joey had arrived back at the hospital as he said he would, hearing his name outside her hospital room door he paused, unsure whether he should let her know he was there or just listen.

"What happened when Joey arrived?" the counsellor asked.

"Nothing for a while, he was just my cousin I had met he dated my best friend for a bit, I hadn't realised it made me jealous until a while later. I had this nagging feeling that I liked him, but it was wrong he was my cousin so I shook off the feelings and once again alcohol was a good friend to me and hit those feelings. It wasn't till it became so heightened that I couldn't blank them anymore, so I got drunk and kissed him" she laughed nervously, no one but her and Joey knew about that kiss.

"And how did it make you feel?" she asked.

"Amazing, I didn't think a kiss would make me feel so alive, and it didn't feel wrong it felt perfect" she blushed, never admitting that to Joey or anyone.

Joey's heart melted as he stood silently outside the door as Lauren relived their epic romance. Little did she know he felt the exact same.

"Anyways after that it was too hard to hide that we liked each other so we kinda got together, though we kept it secret unsure what people would make of it, but Uncle Derek, who was Joeys dad found out so we decided to run away together leading to the car crash" her hand reached up naturally touching the scar she got from that crash on her head. "So a whole lot happened and Joey broke up with me, I felt my heart rip to pieces, I hadn't experience love before so I guess you don't know how it truly feels until its taken away, I didn't handle it well so again alcohol came into it, covered the ache in my heart". Taking a minute she took a deep breath she hated remembering the worst time of her life.

"Its okay Lauren, deep breath and carry on" the counsellor squeezed her hand softly letting Lauren have another minute.

"So Christmas day came and Joey turned up and explained why he did what he did but right on cue Uncle Derek died, so a happy moment was once again covered by something awful and Joey disappeared and I was left alone again, although he showed by a week later it still stung that he left, I guess that's a fear I always have with him, that he could just up and leave at any point" she shrugged that thought really stuck in her mind.

"So when he came back, we made the choice to be together, because being without him was too hard, although some people took it worse than others, but it didn't matter we were together finally" she smiled.

"What happened a few weeks ago Lauren?" she asked, leaning back in her chair.

"Joey had enough of my drinking after another secret came out about my dad so naturally I drank it away but he couldn't stand it and said that if I didn't stop drinking we wouldn't be together, which is fair enough its not easy seeing the person you love destroy themselves. But I did stop because no matter what anyone says he means the world to me" Joey was now grinning ear to ear hearing her honest feelings for him. It made him feel only guiltier for what he had done.

"That must have been hard for you to do?" the counsellor asked, seeing as the pattern of alcohol abuse run throughout her life.

"Yeah it was, but trust me he is worth it, anyways one night it changed as at the time I hadn't realised my friend, the one who had seen Joey before me spiked my drink and I ended up drunk, Joey then and there broke up with me, he assumed I had lied, I wasn't given much room to argue he was done with me, so after that I decided that life wasn't really worth living and drank excessively to the point that I ended up here" she sighed, god saying everything aloud really proved to her how tragic her life had been.

"You've been through a lot Lauren, but does it feel better to have shared with someone?" she asked.

"I guess, but I hate that it has defined me, I'm the drunk with tragic parents" she laughed awkwardly never using the word drunk on herself.

"Don't let it define you from here on, this is your chance to be who you want to be, the strongest people fall down sometimes but you have to pick yourself up and start again" she smiled, stating it so simply what seemed to be the most difficult thing.

"But what about Joey?" Lauren asked, hoping this women had the answer she had desperately searched for all night.

Joeys brow furrowed as he listened in.

"I can't answer that for you Lauren, you need to ask yourself if you truly love him the rest will fall into place" she smiled letting the words sink in a bit. "Now I am going to suggest you attend a few AA meetings they are surprisingly helpful if you want to talk again here Is my number" she handed Lauren her card, giving her hand one gentle squeeze before leaving Lauren with a hell of a lot to think about.

Joey moved away from the door, and down the corridor as she left, not noticing that he was even there. Looking back through the window he watched as her fingers were rested on her chin as she though through everything they had discussed.

"Lo?" he popped his head around the door, her eyes lighting up at him, the effect he still held over her.

"Hey" she smiled, nodding for him to come in, he walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge as she shifted over a little.

"How was the counselling?" he quizzed, feeling a tad guilty he listened to some of it, but glad he did as he now knew what she was thinking.

"Good actually, I already feel clearer" she smiled, still only looking at him for a short while before pulling her eyes away from him.

"I heard a little" he sighed hoping she wouldn't fly off the handle as It was meant to be a private conversation. "Oh" she blushed feeling a little embarrassed she hadn't even been that open with Joey. I love you being as far as it went.

"I want you to know, I feel the exact same way about you, god if I could show you how much I love you I would" he smiled, a little smile creeping onto her mouth. He wasn't one for expressing his feelings this was rather deep for him.

"I know you can't forgive me yet, I understand I hurt you, but if you give me a chance I will earn it from you I don't want anyone else ever, I just want you" he breathed heavily, the weight of his words strong and hitting her heart strings.

Lauren thought for a moment, her heart was bursting full of love for this man sat before her, she had died to hear these words not that she would ever admit that to him.

"You know there's no one else I could be with" she whispered, holding his hands within hers. Her thumb tenderly stroking his hand. "We can't let anything get between us".

"I promise you" the conviction in his words honest, the only promise she would believe, so many had been broken before but this one spoke truth and she was willing to let it be.

"Kiss me" she whispered again tugging his hand a little, though she didn't need to Joey had already begun leaning in, craving the feeling of her lips on his own, it had been too long since he last kissed her. Lettings his own brushing against hers, he pressed firmly down, his tongue sliding tentatively along her bottom lip earning a muffled moan. His hands cupping her soft cheeks as he deepened the kiss, this being one way he could show her just how much he loved her.

Breaking away for a breath he rested his forehead against hers, catching his gaze him, matching it with his own. "Just us" he breathed heavily.

"**Just us**" she repeated finally content.


End file.
